Some of us grow up with the idea that our emotions make us weak, they make us a target of ridicule and judgement. Our emotions are what is wrong with us, and if we didn’t have them life would be a lot easier. This disconnection is a survival mechanism, and that mechanism eventually becomes your new normal. You trudge through life dodging thoughts and conversations that evoke any sort of emotion that isn’t neutral.
You are in the backseat to your own life. You don’t speak up for yourself. You don’t speak up for others. You can’t talk about your simple needs. All of these emotions like basketballs you are trying to hold underwater, but there are too many and some threaten to come rocketing out towards your face. Should you just let them all go at once? Who will stick around after the meltdown?
Like a beast stalking you from the edge of a dark forest there is a part of you that just wants to let it all go at once. There is a part of you that wants to yell and scream and appear powerful and threatening. A force that cannot be ignored. But that isn’t truly what you want, you just want to be heard, not just by others but by yourself also.
